Understanding Grief & Mourning
The Grief Journey
“Teach me about your grief and I will be with you.
As you teach me I will follow your lead,
and be an empathetic and soothing presence.”
- Anonymous
The grief journey is one no one chooses to take – it’s painful, lonely, and challenging. Even though grief is a natural response to losing someone we love that knowledge may offer little comfort in the moment. We hope this information will provide some support as you navigate your journey.
Grief refers to the internal feelings of loss. Unless we express it outwardly, through crying or other visible signs, others may not realize we are grieving. Mourning, on the other hand, involves those outward expressions of emotion and is more easily understood by others. Sometimes, people will mistake our lack of visible mourning as a sign that we are being “strong” or “moving on.” The truth is the grief journey has no defined end - it’s about finding what many refer to as a “new normal.”
As I grieve I vow to:
Allow and honor all my feelings
- Not to judge myself or my feelings
- Not to utter or think any rules or “shoulds”
Treat myself like a precious child
- To be gentle and compassionate toward myself
- To be kind and forgiving toward myself
- To reassure myself I am doing the best I can in this moment
Trust my body to know how to grieve, and then let it allow love to flow to me from my community
- From family who may not have understood me
- From unexpected people who surround me
- From a friend to sit with me, hold me, and comfort my mind/body/and soul
To take one deep breath after another, and trust my resilience and ability to be with all my feelings
Listen to my heart
- To enter that still, sure place within where peace survives
- To trust my inner voice
Give myself whatever time I need to grieve, whenever I need it allow myself the relief from isolation, comparisons, and judgment
- Find support from someone who will be with me just as I am
To find miracles in the most ordinary of things and events each day
- A sunrise, a hummingbird, the wet nose of a dog, a child pumping on a swing
- I will see and even feel wonder and beauty in the world without the guilt or despair that I am enjoying it without my loved one
To hold on to the love, and not let death end my relationship with my loved one
